Why I joined the Death Eaters
by yeahishipdrarry
Summary: Severus Snape tells the story of how it came about and how in the end everything just comes down to how situations make you feel...


**Random one shot with a slight twist at the end... :)**

**Why I joined the Death Eaters**

"I won't try and lie to make myself sound better and say I joined because I was forced; I wasn't. I suppose I could argue that really I was forced but not by people but by circumstances. My father was a horrible man who I hated which I suppose made me think that all muggles are evil. However this does not excuse me in any sense for my actions because the chosen one, Harry Potter, had a terrible childhood with muggles but still saved them all in the end. At least my mother loved me truly even if she was an emotional wreck and a terrible mother to me.

When I was sorted into Slytherin on my first day at Hogwarts I knew at once that this would be the place for me. Hufflepuff were all a bit stupid and kind neither of which I was regardless of what anyone else might have said. Ravenclaw was for the highly intelligent and although I was that they thrived to know everything whereas I knew what I wanted to know. Gryffindor seemed like a nice place to be as I walked into the hall with children laughing and smiling together. For almost a whole minute I allowed myself to wonder in my mind whether I would be placed there and somehow gain a surrogate family to replace the one I never had.

But when the sorting hat was placed on my head and started speaking I quickly changed my mind. "Power lies with Slytherin, dear child, which will help you to become the great wizard I know that you can be."

I was entranced by the idea of having some sort of power over my good for nothing father and empowering my mother to fight back with my aid. I half begged to become a Slytherin, something which on reflection a Slytherin never would have done, but I was desperate. My only friend I had ever really had, Lily Evans, was sorted into Gryffindor and from what I heard of the school if you were in rival houses then a friendship could never happen. But Lily was a truly loyal Gryffindor and so she stuck by me until she had good reason not to. I am not however saying she would have done the same if she had met me for the first time when I was sorted.

I met my Head of House, Slughorn a plump old man with a thick streak of favouritism and a liking for crystallized pineapple, and took a disliking to him. Maybe I was jealous that I would never become one of his favourite students like people such as Lucius Malfoy and my own friend Lily Evans. I made a few enemies in my first year alone such as Sirius Black and of course James Potter. It was sort of ironic that a year or two later when Black's brother Regulus joined the school I took an instant liking to him and treated him as if I was his older brother.

Eventually I was made a member of the Slug Club like Lily and Lucius probably because I was excellent at Potions. I wrote everyday in my Potions books little notes to correct the mistakes that the publishers had made. I could tell however that Slughorn never expected me to become much as he kept my photograph in a frame behind other such as Lily's.

I became friends with two very stupid and evil boys called Mulciber and Avery; both nasty pieces of work. I think we only bonded over the face that we were all equals after all and without that connection we would have been nothing. I liked the way they hexed people for being merely stupid or careless and they particularly loved picking on the little worm, Peter Pettigrew. Peter was always the runt of the Black-Potter group but a close second to Remus Lupin.

When they all bullied me – well more Black and Potter than anyone else – Lily stepped in and what I did has broken my heart ever since. I called her a mudblood and therefore lost my only true friend in the entirety of Hogwarts, heck the world. She would never accept my apologies and I often wonder if she ever truly wanted me as a friend if she would drop me just like that.

However this still doesn't explain why I became a Death Eater really. Lucius one day introduced me to some older students, ex-students, who were all being rallied by this man, Tom Riddle. But they were certainly not allowed to call him that, they were to call him Lord Voldemort at all times. The students led me to a bar in Hogsmeade, owned ironically enough by Dumbledore's brother, the Hogs Head and from there I was shown what my life could be like. They sold me a dream of how I could teach my parents that they were wrong about me and that I would become something so powerful that few could rival me.

Avery, Mulciber, Rosier and Wilkes were not people that I would have trusted with a snake let alone my life. They were all very cruel but somehow we became something of gang and everyone knew from that moment that I wasn't to be messed with. I'll admit that some of the taunts didn't stop – namely from the four idiots who called themselves the Marauders – but a lot of people treated me with fear now. They considered me a very close friend and confidant but I never trusted them enough to even tell them by real blood type.

Then one day I was told that on the Saturday if I went to the Hogs Inn with all my "friends" that I would be able to meet this amazing man. I was nervous as we walked down to Hogsmeade that day particularly since I had spoken to Lily before I left. "You know," she had said, "Severus, sometimes I worry that because you're in Slytherin you might accidentally fall in with the wrong crowd – like Avery, Mulciber, Rosier and Wilkes – and then you might get into something seriously bad."

I had tried to assure her that she was talking nonsense and that I was far too clever to get involved in something dangerous. "Part of being a Slytherin is looking out for your own back above everyone else's so I am sure I will be fine. And it's not like I particularly like the buffoons I hang around with but as _you _are all mixed up with the Marauders I can't spend time with my best friend."

She didn't seem all that reassured about my excuse but I guess that was fair enough as I wasn't being smart. I wasn't using using the rational part of my brain as we slowly approached the Hog Head; I was using my animalistic side. And that side was telling me to forget being brave and run and save myself whilst I still could. But I knew that you don't just turn your back on a man like Voldemort because if you're not with them then you're against them. The Hogs Head was not the nicest place particularly not compared to the Three Broomsticks.

It was a dark and dirty interior that met me as I walked through the door and saw in the corner a group of men and one woman sitting in near silence. The woman was Bellatrix Lestrange and I knew her from when she went to school when I was in my first year. She used to go around torturing the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs – particularly the younger ones who wouldn't tell – for pure fun. Ravenclaws and Slytherins never had that sort of problem as we have some sort of unspoken respect for that house.

I didn't have time to think and then suddenly I was being pulled over to them; there was nothing I could do. Tom Riddle. How do you begin to describe the man who killed so many at a time when he seemed so close to normal? I can't.

"Severus," he half-hissed, "I've been told by Lucius that you are quite the trustworthy little Slytherin and would do well amongst people like ourselves."

And I suppose that was the exact moment that I became trapped in their lives – when I thought how exciting it was that Lucius Malfoy had personally recommended me to this Dark Lord of his. So I suppose what I am trying to say is that I have nothing solid to prove why I became a Death Eater but... but Mr Crouch, Sir, sometimes the only solid thing you have are feelings."

"Thank you, Mr Snape, you may step down," Barty Crouch said.


End file.
